she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
