i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am available for nakedness
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
