: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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