Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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