all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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