Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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