I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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