my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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