Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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