he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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