What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
