she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
