This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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