I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
