I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
