Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
