This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
