i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
