Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
