where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
