so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
