I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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