K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
home. puking in laundry basket.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
