I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
