Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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