Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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