Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
