Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
