It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
