dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize