My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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