You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
