I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
