I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
