speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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