I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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