I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize