the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I need water and some morals
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
