He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
