Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I FOUND THE LEGS
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
