You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
