So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
