Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
