How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So apparently I’m into choking now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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