is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of