I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?