Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.

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  (913): I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you. http://tfl.nu/mcnp
  Replies (68) Good night (2060) Bad night (11403) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (1132) Bad night (17395) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.

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  (845): I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says. http://tfl.nu/83ho
  Replies (36) Good night (4161) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

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  (740): Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does http://tfl.nu/kyc4
  Replies (49) Good night (4465) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
  Replies (7) Good night (4081) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  this is a time for prayers...seriously

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.

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  (973): this is a time for prayers...seriously (1-973): let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen. http://tfl.nu/ovsa
  Replies (22) Good night (4866) Bad night (1223)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing

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  (709): ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing http://tfl.nu/8uai
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  (707): View more from California

  We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.

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  (707): We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/1jar
  Replies (2) Good night (2281) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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  (905): We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila. http://tfl.nu/k7ds
  Replies (4) Good night (1909) Bad night (697)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

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  (870): Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good. http://tfl.nu/i8bn
  Replies (3) Good night (2208) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

  (210): View more from Texas

  No

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  (512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool (210): No http://tfl.nu/m5ry
  Replies (4) Good night (1785) Bad night (419)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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  (724): If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet. http://tfl.nu/ik1n
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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  (301): That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit? http://tfl.nu/b6j9
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.

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  (902): Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends. http://tfl.nu/0yi1
  Replies (11) Good night (2031) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods

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  (205): This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods http://tfl.nu/4tdp
  Replies (5) Good night (422) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt

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