You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.