a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize