SEEEEXXX PLEASE
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
