i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
