I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
