If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
