I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Small penises have feelings too.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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