just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
