How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
