I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
