Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize