she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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