My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just had sex on a roof
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
