I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
