Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
