How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
