just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
