Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm passing your future prison.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
