Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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